Hayden and Layla's Place

Thank you October 31, 2007

Filed under: Mummy On Hayden — karagoodwin @ 6:32 pm

We have received many kind cards, emails, calls, and texts about losing Jude. Thank you everyone. We appreciate being in your thoughts.

Down the middle drops one more grain of sand

They say that new life makes losing life easier to understand

Words are kind, they help ease the mind, I miss my old friend

And though you gotta go, we’ll keep a piece of your soul

One goes out, one comes in

If I Could

Jack Johnson


Gemma October 29, 2007

Filed under: Hayden Blogs — karagoodwin @ 7:54 pm
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Gemma was here last week.  She got here on Saturday and left Wed.  Unfortunately we picked her up from the airport about an hour before we had to say goodbye to Jude.  I can only imagine how she felt walking into that situation.  She was very kind though and watched Hayden for us while we went to the vet, and then gave us big hugs when we got back.  It was really nice to have a close friend here during that time.  I probably would have spent my days moping around, but because she was here we got out and walked around Indianapolis, shopped, ate, and went down to Bloomington, my old university town.  She definitely helped us feel better.

We’ve been so lucky having so many visitors.  We love that so many people from England and other parts of the US have gotten to meet Hayden already.  Just need to get Jono and Maz and Helen and Wyn over now!  And Faith, are you still coming in Dec?  And of course John’s dad needs to see him still.  My cousin Mandy is coming in from Chicago this weekend to meet him, so we are looking forward to seeing her.  Then that’s it until Christmas when John’s sister comes out.  So if anyone else fancies a visit we have openings! 🙂

Today was my first day back to work.  I am working from home three days a week throughout the end of the year, when I am supposed to go back full time.  I am still working for IBM although for a different department that has very limited travel.  Even though I work out of the house, Hayden still has to go to daycare so he can get proper care while I’m working and I can likewise actually get work done.  I don’t think it would give my clients a lot of confidence if I had a crying baby in the background during conference calls!  Fortunately there is a day care center with infant care just down the road from our house.  It is literally about a 40 second drive from our driveway to the center.  It is an easy walk as well but I don’t know if I will ever not be in such a rush to see him that I would take the extra time to walk.  Anyway, it is so near that I can go feed him during my lunch time.  That is huge while I am adjusting to being apart from him, because it only ends up being two 3 to 4 hour blocks of time without him, instead of a long 8 or 9 or 10 hour stretch.  I don’t know if I will always go there for lunch, but it is perfect right now.  I went today and he was so tired he was completely zonked out while he was eating and probably didn’t really register that I was even there!  Oh well, I know I need to see him more than he needs to see me.  I never knew I was such a wuss. ;-P



Filed under: Dad Blogs on Hayden — JDG @ 12:11 am
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Hayden has the ability now to do two things at once.  One of these two things tends to be pooping or farting, but he can smile, hip-cup or cough all at the same time as filling up his nappy.  I am obviously incredibly proud of his new skill.

The other big change in Hayden recently is that he will start to follow you with his eyes.  Up to now he has been randomly looking around, often just staring into space,  but now i can walk into the room and he’ll see me and start to follow me around.  That’s pretty simple, but also pretty cool.

He loves water.  He’s started splashing lots now, and he smiles and thinks it’s funny.  Can’t wait for next year when I can get him into the pool.

Hayden is preparing for his first Halloween.  Halloween is a big deal over here so it starts basically at the beginning of Oct and continues throughout.  Me and Hayden are going out trick or treating on Wednesday so I’ll update after that!

Still really miss Jude.


Jude Monkey by his Mom – UPDATE October 25, 2007

Filed under: Mummy On Hayden — JDG @ 2:49 pm
Similar to what John wrote, I have also been thinking about my favorite Jude memories and his funny habits.

  • Jude was always with Hayden and I during night feedings.  I would joke that Jude loved being petted so much that he would notice I was awake in the middle of the night and say to me (for some reason in an Italian accent), ‘well, if you have to be up anyway you might as well make use of that hand that is just laying there.  Pet me.  Pet me.’
  • A couple of times while Hayden was feeding, Jude would fit himself onto the Boppy (breastfeeding pillow) behind Hayden.  Not lots of room for a cat his size, but that was Jude!
  • When I would feed Hayden in the rocking chair, Jude would jump up and lay on my lap behind Hayden, similar to how he would lay on the Boppy.  He also would jump up onto the top of the back of the chair while I rocked and continuously balance himself on there by readjusting himself with every rock.
  • He loved laying on our pillows next to our heads at night and would always step on my hair, for which he always got told off.  There were times too where he would sleep in between John and I like a person.
  • That cat was ALWAYS purring!  He would purr just thinking that there was a chance he might get petted, even if no one was touching him.
  • He loved ’shower time.’  You could say ‘Jude, shower time’ and he would run to the bathroom where he would wait while I showered and then get loads of petting afterwards.  (Less since Hayden was born – now it’s an exercise in how fast I can get ready!)
  • He loved laying behind things.  If you put a suitcase down with the top open it was only a matter of time before he would crawl behind it.  Same with a laundry basket, a bag or box — anything he could crawl behind or under.  I got Lucy a little doggy bed from a garage sale recently and Jude would work his way under it all the time.
  • He would always meow before he jumped up onto something.  We said he was announcing his jumping intentions.
  • He loved laying on remote controls for some reason.  We have a big couch, and Jude would come lay on it with us but he would always lay on top of whichever remotes were laying on the couch.  All that room and he would want the space that was already occupied!
  • We had found him sitting on my car roof a few times when he was outside and the garage was open.  A couple of weeks ago John found that Jude had actually jumped from the car roof onto the open garage door and was laying on it!
  • We would be downstairs and hear commotion upstairs.  Jude would be the only one unaccounted for.  I don’t know what would trigger it, but he would get into ‘kitten fit’ mode and run around so fast that we could hear him through the ceiling!
  • He loved playing with fishing rod cat toys.  We could dangle a feather from one of those toys and he would chase it round and round until he was panting to catch his breath and would have to lie down.

These are some of the things he did in our house in England.

  • He would go into the guest room and crawl under the duvet.  You’d walk in and just see a lump in the bed.  Touch the lump and – tada! – it would purr!
  • He would jump (first meow a few times, then eventually jump) up onto our (pretty tall!) wardrobe and sleep.  We had cat scratches down the side of it (luckily not really in site) from this habit.
  • Our windows had a top and bottom half, and the top half swung out.  When the window was open he would jump onto the bottom half and sit there crouched down.  Abbey did this too and sometimes they were naughty and would go onto the outside sill.  This always made visitors nervous that they were going to jump or fall out.  He was hanging out on the bottom part of the window the morning he was being flown to America to live and he fell off the window, down two stories onto our concrete patio.  LUCKILY he hardly had a scratch on him, once we found him afterwards.  We didn’t know where he’d gone, we were searching around outside, but he had immediately run into the house through the cat flap and was hiding under a chair.  Not a great start to what was bound to be one of the cats most stressful days of their lives!
  • He went through a period of peeing on our bed at night which luckily didn’t last very long.  But one night he peed on the bed and tried to bury it as cats do.  In the process he flicked peed onto John’s face!
  • He and Abbey both loved sheet changing time.  We would shake out the sheets to put them on the bed, and they would both jump all over them and attack the sheets as they moved.
  • In that house we had a shower cubicle type thing with sliding glass doors.  Jude would be on top of the toilet, meow a few times, and then jump onto the top of the shower doors while we were showering.  There wasn’t loads of room between the top of those doors and the ceiling, and it didn’t make for a relaxing shower to have a big cat with all his claws intact balancing above you!
  • When he was younger when I would hold him he would climb up onto my shoulders and lay across the back of my neck like a collar.
  • He and Abbey would both climb up on top of our cabinets in the kitchen and sleep.
  • UPDATE — I was putting on my makeup this morning and couldn’t believe I had forgotten to write about Jude and the makeup sponges.  I use makeup sponges to put on foundation, and for some reason Jude was drawn to these like a moth to a flame.  A sponge gets used for about a week or so before it’s ready to be tossed out, and if Jude was around when I put on my makeup he would hop up onto the counter and throw his head into my makeup bag in search of the sponge.  If it was ready to be thrown I would let him take it.  He would grab it, jump off the counter, and play with it similarly to how he did with the cotton buds (see John’s post).  If it wasn’t time for the sponge to be thrown yet I would have to hide it in a drawer while I did my makeup to avoid it being taken by the little bandit; otherwise he was known to sneak off with it. 🙂

He was so loving, fun, funny, docile, and sweet.  As our friend Helen described him, he was a gentle giant.  We were so lucky to have him.  I feel he was cheated out of 10 years or more, and likewise we were cheated of that time with him, but I am so grateful for the four+ years we did get with him.  I miss him like crazy.


Jude Monkey by his Dad October 24, 2007

Filed under: Dad Blogs on Hayden — JDG @ 2:29 am

While I like to focus this website on Hayden and all the exciting things he is doing, the event of Jude passing is an event so important that it demands some words on this forum.

Jude was a wonderful cat.   He kept me company when Kara was away.  He made me laugh every day.  He was part of so many of my daily routines that life already different without him.  I wanted to list some of the funny and meaningful things that I think of when I think of Jude, I know Kara is going to do something similar.  We don’t want to ever forget the joy he brought to us:

– He went through this really bizarre habit of biting my fingers while i slept.  It just cracked me up.

– He had this bizarre habit of getting behind a door and then he would want to play with your fingers either under the door or between the hinge gap.

– He would come into the bathroom while I was showering, once I had got out and I had cleaned my ears with an ear bud, I would throw it in the bin, then I could watch Jude go over to the bin and start to dig in the bin until he could retrieve it.  Then he would go put the ear bud underneath this rug which he would then wrestle to get it back again.

– I managed to train him, I would tap twice on the bed and he would jump up on to the bed.  I would then always clear a little space between the edge of the bed and me, perfect size for Jude Monkey to snuggle up.

– He loved to rub up against you and demand to be petted.  You always new it was him because he always had a wet nose!

– I think the reason he had a web nose was all the snot he generated!!!  The amount of times he would jump up on the bed in the morning and shake his head and I would get covered in Jude snot!!! Gross!!!

– I’ve never known a cat who just loved to lay on his back.  All four paws in the air and he was basically demanding us to rub his belly when he would purr like a engine.

– When I used to try and work in the office he would come in and make it known by all his miaowing that he wanted up on my lap.  Then he would either just sit on my lap or work his way up on the keyboard.  He just wanted to be around me, and make working as difficult as possible!!

– Jude – the epitome of ‘scaredy cat’.  If me and Kara were around he would hang out, demand attention – as soon as anyone else came – like a bullet he would go hide under the bed like a big baby!!  But let me tell you he was anything but a scaredy car, he was a brave cat with a wonderful heart!!

He was a big part of my family.  It will not be the same without him.  I really wish that Hayden could have had the chance to interact with Jude.  He would have loved and protected Hayden.


In Loving Memory

Filed under: Mummy On Hayden — JDG @ 12:53 am

Jude Monkey Goodwin

March 2003 – October 2007

It is with great sadness that we must write that Jude passed away this weekend.  He was hit by a car on Friday evening and passed away on Saturday.  He gave us enormous happiness and was loved dearly, and he is painfully missed.


What’s new? October 18, 2007

Filed under: Mummy On Hayden — karagoodwin @ 1:18 am
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Well it’s been about a week since my last post so this will just be a hodge-podge of stuff I can think of that I haven’t written about yet. 🙂  When Scotty was here the weekend before last, I went to visit my friend from high school (well, elementary school even!) Jennifer who had a baby on Sept 9.  I hadn’t seen little Connor yet and she hadn’t met Hayden, so it was a really fun visit!  When I had talked to her on the phone she was saying how big Connor was.  He was already 9 lbs!  That is big for a one month old, but once we put Hayden next to him he looked pretty tiny!  He also felt sooo light, and Hayden felt sooo heavy to them!  She took a couple of pictures which you can see on her dropshots http://www.dropshots.com/jencaldwell#date/2007-10-06/16:51:13 By the by, in one of the pictures there is a really attractive bug bite on my neck.  It looks like a really classy love bite/hicky or whatever the kids are calling it these days, but I’m afraid it was just a boring old bug.

So the big big news in our world is what happened on Monday.  Hayden was having tummy time and he rolled over from his tummy to his back!  I thought it was a fluke — maybe I hadn’t put him properly on his front or something.  I put him back on his belly and he did it again!  I got the video camera and he even did it two more times for the video camera!  I have tried twice to get him to do it again but so far nothing has materialized.  I couldn’t believe it though!  How exciting!

In other news, Lucy turned one on Monday.  She is no longer a pup!  Her daddy got her a nice new doggy bed — she had ripped her old one to bits even though she still was happy to lay in its remains.  I think John might have gotten a little carried away though, as the bed came with a pillow and a blanket.  A pillow and a blanket.  It’s supposed to be a dog bed.  This from the man who won’t let me put a sweater on the dog.

Today Hayden and I went to Nashville, Indiana with my mom.  Nashville is a little artsy area in southern Indiana that is in the area of a state park that has lots of trees and is really pretty this time of year.  Actually, the trees aren’t really changing color too much this year, but usually this time of year the trees are all sorts of beautiful colors down in that park.  Anyway, it was a lovely day of shopping and eating, and right at the end Hayden pooped up his back while I had him on my lap.  I was just in the process of trying to figure out where I was going to change his diaper, too, little devil!  My mom thought it was the funniest thing she had seen in ages.  Oh the nerve! 🙂


Grandpaman’s initiation October 11, 2007

Filed under: Mummy On Hayden — karagoodwin @ 2:38 pm
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Last night John and I went to a Paolo Nutini concert with my stepmom Gretchen and her friend, and my dad – Grandpaman – volunteered to babysit.  Hayden had not slept well in the afternoon, so he was fussy when they got here but I was hoping he might crash out into the land of nod before long.  When we got back from the concert we learned that he cried for about two hours before he fell asleep!!  Poor Grandpaman!  When I couldn’t get Hayden to stay asleep all afternoon I kept pleading with him to pleeease be a good boy for Grandpaman, especially if he was bound and determined to be tired when we left.  I had written out a little ‘Hayden guide’ for Dad with lots of ideas on how to get him to stop crying.  He went through most of the ideas on the list and they didn’t seem to help much.  Unfortunately, the weather turned dramatically yesterday and we went from nearly 80 degrees as a high on Tuesday to mid- to high-50s as the high on Wednesday.  So some of my ideas like bouncing him while walking on the back deck and taking him for a walk in his stroller around the neighborhood weren’t very practical last night when it was freezing outside.

Yesterday was the third day this week I have had trouble getting him to stay asleep during his afternoon nap.  If any of you moms out there have any tips on how to remedy this please don’t be shy about offering suggestions!  I have tried letting him cry it out for 5 or 10 minutes but that seems to do nothing and I feel like he is too young to cry it out too much yet.

We really enjoyed the concert.  Paolo Nutini is pretty new on the scene so doesn’t have loads of material out yet, so we thought the show would be over by 10:30 or so.  He had 2 opening acts and didn’t even come onto the stage until about 10:20!  We were all a little annoyed at being made to wait until so late on a weeknight (yes, yes — we are old).  So when we got home it was after midnight.  Grandpaman was still awake, bless him.  I forgot to tell him it was ok to sleep if Hayden was asleep.  Hayden was just snoozing away in his swing, happy as a clam.  There was no evidence of all this supposed ‘crying’ that went on for ‘two hours.’  My son?!  My perfect little Hayden?!  Oh dear, I have just turned into John’s mum!!  🙂 haha ha haha haha!  Anyway, Grandpaman must have finally found a way to appease him.  I just hope he helped himself to the snickerdoodles I had left out for him!


Scotty October 10, 2007

Filed under: Dad Blogs on Hayden — JDG @ 12:36 am
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Scotty’s been and somehow he managed to leave without being pooped on or peed on.  Scott was thrilled to be here as he finally found someone smaller than him!! haha.  Sorry Scotty!!!  In fact it was great to have Scotty here.  A great excuse to great drunk, play some golf and go to another Colts game!  It reminds you how much it sucks not to have your friends around and accessible.

Hayden is still going through his fussy period, but he is also learning to sleep for longer periods.  We are trying to get into a routine of going to bed early and sleeping through the night.  He still likes to get up to feed but he is definitely sleeping for longer periods which is all good for his mum and dad!!

We were just driving home from a restaurant where he was crying his little lungs out and we realised he liked turns so we snaked our way through the neighbourhood with sharp turns and he loved it.  I think his future is sorted.  Racing car driver and he is growing up in the right city to make that happen!!   Lewis Hamilton watch your tail!  (Well he would probably race Indy Car or Nascar but I can’t name any of those red necks :))


Thumb sucking and swimming October 4, 2007

Filed under: Mummy On Hayden — karagoodwin @ 10:29 pm
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Hayden had a couple of fun developments today.  This morning I was giving him a bath and he was really kicking his legs about as though he was enjoying the splashing and wanted to swim!  I kept splashing water on his belly and arms to keep them warm, and that would start him off — he’d just start swimming his little legs around!  It was so much fun watching him!  He really enjoys bath time.  The other development happened as he was awakening from his nap.  I heard him on the baby monitor making some noises so I went up to get him.  When I went up there he seemed really interested in his hands, so I let him lay there a while so he could study them.  He brought his hand up to his face and it was obvious he was trying to get his thumb in his mouth.  He managed to get it in there for a few seconds of sucking, and he had all of his fingers open like he did the first time he sucked his thumb.  It was so sweet.  He tried a few more times to work out how to suck his thumb but didn’t quite connect.  He sucked part of his hand for a while but it was obvious that wasn’t what he was after.   It’s cool because he is starting to become aware of himself!

Today at lunchtime we had a lovely visit with Grandma and Grandpa Hammond and Daddy.  Mom came over at lunchtime because she hadn’t seen Hayden in so long, and Jim happened to be in the area for a meeting so he popped in too (he had also been missing Hayden).  Both of them had colds so they were sad that they couldn’t hold him today.  Then John decided to come home for lunch, too.  So we had a nice visit with all of them which was unusual for a weekday.  Made it feel like the weekend!  Now we are just waiting for our friend Scott to arrive from England, as he is on an American holiday and will be with us until Monday when he heads over to New York.  We can’t wait to see him!