Mommy’s Girl October 31, 2012

Hayden has been a Daddy’s boy for a very long time now (although, I always like to try to note that he was very much a Mommy’s boy for the first 2 1/2 years!), so I am happy to be able to confirm that Layla is still a big Mommy’s girl.  I think most babies (especially breastfed ones) favor their mother while they are babies.  That is where their food comes from, and that means everything when all you have is instinct!  But Layla is about the age Hayden was when he moved to Team Daddy (lol), and so far she is holding true to Team Mommy.

She’s not quite as bad as Hayden was (is still sometimes) in terms of favoring one over the other so much that she is rude to the other one, although she can get that way sometimes.  But I’m happy that I’m one of my children’s favorites.  I’ve teased John all along that if he takes this one then we’ll have to have a 3rd so I can have one! 😉 It’s nice that we have a balance – I don’t think either of us would be happy if we were a magnet to both kids and the other wasn’t.  And someday I know they will both come to realize how much they love both of us.  Getting Hayden to say he loves me is like trying to give a cat a bath, but I always try to get him to say it before bedtime anyway (even when he sometimes slips up and tells me really he just loves Daddy), but a couple of days ago Layla was singing away in the car “I love you, I love you, I love you…” and John said, “Layla, I love you!” and she stopped, then started singing, “I love Mommy, I love Mommy…”  We just have to laugh!

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Daddy Picks Up Hayden! November 6, 2010

It’s pretty rare for me to pick up Hayden from daycare/pre-school. Kara tries to get him as early as possible and it’s nearly always before I’m home from work. This week I was able to finish up a little early from a conference and Kara was working that day so hadn’t collected him yet. So I got to get him and he had no idea I was coming.

I entered the room and couldn’t find him at first. All these kids sat around the table reading books and Hayden was on his own over by the toys! That isn’t a big surprise, Hayden likes to just play by himself and LOVES toys. At some point he heard my voice, slowly turned his head as he wasn’t expecting me and then jumped up and shouted daddy. He came running over to me and gave me a huge hug and then shouted to all the other kids “this is my daddy, this is my daddy!” I felt like he was really proud. It was a very cool moment.

It’s Not a Daddy Work Day

I’m sure I’ve talked a lot in these blogs about Hayden being a big daddy’s boy. Recently he’s been very interested in when it’s a daddy work day and when it’s not. He seems to count down the days to the “not a daddy workdays” and is always really disappointed in the mornings when I tell him I have to go to work.

The other night this escalated to a new high. We were just getting ready for bed and it was clear he needed to do a poop. He didn’t want to sit on the potty so we were having a “Discussion”. I was telling him about how Granddad was coming next week and how if he was a good boy I would take some daddy work days off when he was here.  Somehow this got confused in his head….he had the biggest melt down, and didn’t want me to go to work anymore. I managed to get him back in his room and he just screamed and kicked for about 20 minutes. In the end I went back in and tried to explain to him why I had to go to work (to buy toys) and he was begging me not to go to work!   Poor little guy.  Eventually he was too tired and crashed out.

The next morning I had to get to work early, and I knew Kara would be tired from the late night she had.  So I was hoping he would sleep in, but I was also worried that he was going to be mad if he got up and I had already gone to work.  Well Hayden woke up early so I got him up and dressed.  We were in the bathroom getting him ready and Kara came up to the door.  He got up and closed the door on her, and announced I am closing the door so that daddy can’t go to work!!!!   Then told me that he didn’t want daddy to go to work today and put himself between me and the door!

Just tonight I had put Hayden to bed and he was making some noise. Kara went up to see him, and she said that he was up on his knees when she opened the door, and he just shouted “it’s not a daddy workday tomorrow!!”   That’s my boy 😀

Mummy’s Back! or should I say Mum! October 12, 2010

Earlier this year Hayden started to become a big daddy’s boy.  Wherever daddy goes, Hayden wanted to go.  If we go anywhere it needs to be in daddy’s car.  If daddy wears a blue shirt, Hayden wants to wear a blue shirt.   If we are out, it’s daddy he wants to hold him, or hold his hand and so on, and on.

This got compounded when Layla was born and Kara and I basically divided duties (i take care of the munchkin, she takes care of the princess) when I’m not at work.   He got even closer to me.  He never rejected Kara and wasn’t mean or anything,  just would generally want to hang out with Daddy, if daddy was around.  If I wasn’t around, then mummy was fine as a fill in.

Well about a month ago after we were getting ready for bed and had just read books and put on his pyjamas.  I was making fun out of him about his pyjamas (because they were way too small for him) and he ran out to the top the stairs and started shouting at Kara “hey mummy, look at me, my pyjamas are so funny”.  Every day since he’ll insist on doing this during bedtime.  Whether it’s about his pjs or what books he read or the fact that he got to brush his teeth while laying on the ground!  Whatever it is he wants to tell mummy!  He’ll stand at the top of the stairs and just jump and shout until he gets mummy’s attention and get’s so happy when he gets it!

Now often he’ll ask “where’s mum” or “what’s mum doing” if she’s not around, and just this morning he wanted to go and say “hi” to mum before we went downstairs!  Welcome back mum!  Now it’s who ever (notice that he now calls her mum instead of mummy!!  have no idea when he made that shift, but just another pointer to him growing up too quickly!)

Bonding with Hayden June 5, 2010

In the weeks leading up to the birth Hayden had started to become some what a daddy’s boy.  Just little things, but in the morning if he knew I was close by he would insist that I was the one that came in and changed him. and often would have a meltdown if Kara tried to do it.   He started getting really excited whenever he saw me, and would run and give me cuddles and hugs, and just generally just want to be with me, if I was home.  Sometimes I would just get random cuddles or hugs.  He would always want to know where I was, and if i was going upstairs or outside, or anywhere, he would want to come with me.

This wasn’t the worse timing, as it allowed Kara some freedom and room to get to spend time with Layla (which is pretty important considering she is the food source!  and all Layla does is eat!) without Hayden freaking out.  With Layla’s birth I took the chance to take a couple of days off work.  To get to spend some time with Kara and Layla and to make sure I could keep Hayden out of trouble and help with the transition for him having Layla home, sharing the attention and also not going to day care for a while.

I felt like we bonded a lot during these few days.  Hayden likes to look to you for confirmation, whether it’s confirmation of if he should do something, or confirmation whether what just happened was really cool or not!  Sometimes he’ll look with this huge smile on his face, and if you smile back then he gets really excited.  We had a lot of these moments during the week which was great.  We had chance to go to Carb day at the track (“The Race Car Show” as Hayden calls it) and every time race cars when past he would give me this look with a huge grin.

Twice we went to the spray parks that are close by and he just seemed really excited to be doing stuff with Daddy.  He would stay close to me, always want to know what i was doing, and generally want me to carry him everywhere!   He is a little shy of the water so I ended up getting more wet than him, but both times I think he still had lots of fun. 

We also went to the swimming as the pool opened a few days early and he made some great progress.  I had brought both his armbands and a Spiderman inflatable ring.  The minute he saw the ring he wanted it.  To the point where he was running around the baby pool with it around his ankles.  It couldn’t have been comfortable but he didn’t care he thought it was great!  I talked him into going into the big pool but he would only do it if he could walk over there without taking the ring off!!   We managed it eventually!  Typically he wants me to hold him, or hold his hands when he’s swimming but I convinced him that he would be ok if I let go.  It took him a while but he got used to it.  Then I came up with a little piece of genius.. I had a swigchy ball with me, so I would throw it slight out of his reach and then let go of him and told him to get the ball.   He would kick and flap his arms around until he could reach it.  Then he would be so proud of himself when he got there.  He loved this game, and took it into his own hands (ie. I wasn’t allowed to throw the ball anymore, he would swim, throw, etc).  I didn’t have to hold him at all, and he was learning to swim!!  He did fantastic!

I think Hayden and I have been real close for a long time, but I felt this week we got even closer as we spent nearly every minute of his waking day together.  He could be playing toys and he would ask me to play with him and want to share toys with me, typically he wants to just play on his own.

He was playing up a little the other day and I told him that this was the last time I would get to play with him so he should make the most of it as I’m going back to work.  He freaked out and started crying and hugging my leg.  I was worried he wasn’t going to adapt well when I went back, but he did fine.  In fact when I asked him for a hug on the first day back, he turned to me and said “not today daddy!”   And I felt he has quickly turned back into a mummy’s boy!!