Times are A Changin’ February 14, 2013

Well there are a lot of changes happening around here.  Layla moved into a big girl bed a couple of weeks ago.  It’s been fun picking out her sheets.  I thought she would want princess or something, so she surprised me when we shopped for them and there were lots of princess or fairy options and she went for “birdies and owls.”  Very cute choice, but I was surprised!  Then we looked for another set (for when those are dirty), and she chose ladybugs over butterflies.  She’s a mystery!  Glad I took her along or I would have made all the wrong choices.

Both of them are liking their new school.  Hayden got to go on a field trip!  His first one ever.  He got to take the bus, even.  They went to the library.  He was so excited, and the timing couldn’t have been better as he was a little down that day because he doesn’t normally go to school on a Tuesday, but he had to that day because I’d switched my working day from Monday to Tuesday so we could go to Great Wolf Lodge.  He’d had so much fun at GWL that he was sad when we came home, and then even sadder to have a school day on a day he normally doesn’t.  So when we found out he was going to get to go on a field trip it was just the perk up he could use.

We are also about to adjust to me going from part time to full time.  I have gotten a new position which I am really excited about.  I’ve been in IT for 13 years, doing support and implementations, and I am moving over to a sales role.  I will be with the same company, but doing something completely different.  I can’t wait to start!  The downside of course is I am going from a 3-day per week schedule to full time.  However, I have been reassured (continuously, along my many interviews) that the schedule is flexible so currently I am only planning to bump them up to one extra day in day care, and keep Fridays free.  Hopefully I will be able to sustain that.  John and I had talked before about putting Hayden in day care 4 days/week this year anyway, to try to get him prepared for 5 days weeks when he starts elementary school.  We decided not to do that in the end, but this will facilitate that anyway even though it wasn’t the intention.  That job I HOPE is going to start Mar 1, although no one can seem to agree on a date between my current and future management.

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Time for a Change December 13, 2012

We’ve gone to the same day care since Hayden was less than three months old.  We’ve had our ups and downs there – as you do with anything you stick with for 5+ years.  Hayden in particular has had a few periods of time where he REALLY doesn’t want to go, and we’ve had to work with his teachers and sometimes the director to sort through the issues he’s had.  Then he’s gotten back on track and we’ve coasted until we hit the next bump.  I’ve felt that it is only fair to let them know whatever issues we are having and give them a chance to address them before we leave.

Lately he’s been having a tough time again.  He is a gentle boy, and the boys in his class are pretty aggressive.  He says every day that the boys are mean in his class.  I’ve tried suggesting that maybe they are just playing, and pointed out how our dogs look like they are fighting when they play, but we know that even if it looks like they are trying to bite each other we know they are just screwing around.  Even when viewing it through that lens, he still keeps coming back to them being mean, and I feel that he is old enough and sensible enough to know if something feels like play versus aggression.

So, we’ve decided to try a new preschool.  I’ve toured this school before, in previous times of trouble with their current school.  I’ve always been impressed but our issues have always been worked through at the other school so I’ve never ended up taking the plunge and transferring.  Hayden is really excited about going to the new school.  There is one boy in particular who he doesn’t like in his current class, and he asked John if we could make sure he doesn’t switch schools, too, so he doesn’t have to deal with him in his new class.

They’ll start at the beginning of next year.  I’ll be off work for almost 2 weeks at the end of the year, so they only have one more day at their current school.  Hayden was sweet yesterday.  He said he wanted to get Carter – one of his classmates – a Christmas present.  I asked if he was going to miss Carter when he switches schools, and he said yes that was why he wanted to get him a present, because “I’m Carter’s best friend.”  I was glad to hear that he feels like he has a friend there right now.  That was another thing that has been bothering me about how things are going there right now – not only does he think the boys are “mean,” he doesn’t really seem to have any friends.  He was always excited to play with Oliver last year, but he’s now in Kindergarten at the public school.  When we first started back after the summer he was talking about Carter a lot and they seemed to be good friends, but when all this physicality started he was even saying Carter’s name when we were asking who was being “mean.”

So, here’s to change!  Let’s hope it’s a good one!

Fall Schedule August 15, 2012

So the kids weren’t going to day care over the summer; they stayed home with a baby sitter on the days I worked.  That went well and really flew by.  Somehow, school for the older kids started today, and Hayden and Layla went back to day care this week!  Hayden was actually really excited to go to day care, which is not always like him.  He gets to be in the “kindergarten” room.  He’ll do the kindergarten program there for the 3 days/week he’s there, then when he starts public school next year he’ll do “full time” kindergarten.  Hayden’s best friend at day care started public school kindergarten, so I know Hayden will be missing him, although Oliver will be doing after school care there so they will get an hour or two to play together a couple of days per week.

Layla was not happy when she started on Monday.  She has a new teacher, and all the kids in the class seemed to be new.  It was hard dropping her off Monday and today.  She was clutching me so hard and screaming – it was really all I could do not to cry with her but that was the last thing she needed to see.  When I picked her up on Monday though she had had a great day and didn’t seem to be in too big of a rush to go home, really.  Her teacher said she’d eaten loads (2 meals in fact – someone didn’t show up so they had an extra and she worked her way through it!), slept well, played, and gotten lots of hugs from teachers who passed by the room and came in to welcome her back.

Summer July 5, 2012

Wow, it has been such a hot summer!  We have been down to Lake Monroe at Grandpaman and Grandma G’s for the 4th of July.  It was so hot that even a chicken like me who takes 20 minutes to immerse herself in the water jumped straight in, and again today when we were at the pool I didn’t hesitate on the steps which is even more indicative of  the heat than a thermometer.  Highs have been over 100 for several days with very little rain.  We even left the pool a little earlier than we might have otherwise because it was so hot and the pool water so mild that John wasn’t even feeling refreshed while in the water.

We have tried something new with our childcare situation this summer.  Normally the kids go to a day care center on the 3 days per week which I work.  This summer though while the schools are out we have hired our neighbor who is about to be a senior in high school to watch them at home while I work.  It has been really great!  She can drive, so she has taken Hayden to the little camps I’ve signed him up for and taken them to the library and things like that.  They like her a lot, and they seem to like being home.  I was a little worried that Layla would seek me out throughout the day and make it hard to work, but she is good about understanding that when Natalie is here that is who she goes to.  When our paths cross she does like to tell me hi and often wants me to pick her up, but that is one of the perks of having them home with me!  It’s nice to get little cuddles during the day.

Of course, Hayden sometimes seems to get a little bored being home – that’s the trade off.  He’s home so much that he runs out of things to play with (how that could ever be possible with the amount of toys in our house I will never know).  Although, saying that he really hasn’t been home that much during the summer apart from when I’m working.  When it’s not a work day we are always off somewhere.

 

My Eyes! November 15, 2011

Winter is closing in on us, which means it’s dark when the kids wake up, and it’s dark when they go to sleep. So when I go get Layla in the morning, she has the shock of going from pitch black (as she is always the first one up and there are no lights on in the house yet) to bright light as I turn on the lights. So to try to take away the shock I will get her from her crib before I turn on the light, and then cover her eyes before I turn them on. So over the last few weeks she started covering her own eyes when I would get to the switch, or if she still wasn’t fully adjusted to the light after I uncovered her eyes, she would cover them back up herself. It is very cute.

Speaking of light switches, she was pretty grumpy when I brought her home from day care today (combination of tired, hungry, and teething I presume), but when I took her over to the light switch and let her turn on and off the light she would laugh out loud. Very cute. However, it did create a little light switch monster, and once Mommy was all done with the light switch game she went right back to the mood she had been in. Oh well, it was nice to have 3 minutes of peace at least. 🙂

Sleeping and New Schedule March 23, 2011

So Layla has a couple of new things going on.  First, I finally scrapped the “dream feed,” where I would go feed her before I went to sleep.  I would also change her diaper at that time, with the hopes that she wouldn’t wake up in the middle of the night due to a leak or hunger.  I bought her some overnight diapers so she could go longer between changes at night and gave not feeding her a go.  It worked instantly!  She woke up at the same time in the morning and didn’t wake up in the middle of the night.  I even wonder if she is sleeping a little bit better as a result of not being woken up after 3-4 hours of sleep, because every once in a while before she would wake up for a little bit in the middle of the night, and she’s not done that at all since I dropped the dream feed a week ago.

The other thing that has changed with her is she is going to day care a couple of days a week.  We tried putting her in for a couple of full days, and since she isn’t taking a bottle that didn’t go very well since she was adjusting to a new place, new people, not getting her milk, and couldn’t seem to settle for her naps.  So she is now going 2 days per week for about 3 hours.  Since the day care center is so close, I am able to take her in after her morning nap and pick her up before her afternoon nap, and she doesn’t need any milk during that time.  She still had a bit of trouble adjusting in the beginning, but every time I pick her up now it sounds as though she is doing better and better.  I’m so glad I’m able to ease her into this, because I know soon enough she is going to have to go the whole day and I really think this “trial time” we’ve concocted will make that transition easier (for both of us, really).

Weirdo Week – Water World March 3, 2011

This has just been a crazy, water-filled week!  The water theme started with Hayden and Layla taking their first bath together on Sunday – that was just too cute.  Hayden was good about sharing bath toys with Layla and was really excited that the time is finally starting that they get to do things together that are verging on playing like that.

Overnight on Sunday we had a huge storm.  Hayden even woke up crying because of the lightning, and I can’t remember him ever doing that before.  He was fine once I went in there and talked to him about it, though.  We didn’t hear from him again, even though the thunder got much worse afterwards.

John got a rowing machine for Christmas, and most weekdays he starts his day by doing some rowing.  Monday morning he got up to go row in the basement, and as he stepped down the stairs in his sleepy state it took him a moment to realize he was standing in (very cold!) water that had worked its way into our basement.  What a way to start an early Monday morning!  We called insurance to make a claim, called the water restoration company, and called the plumber.  The plumber came after about 1 1/2 hours and we found that the sump pump AND the backup sump pump had to be replaced.  Once those were fixed the water quickly started draining away, but we still had to have the restoration people come even though we just have ceramic tile in the basement (luckily not carpet) to dry out the insulation in the walls so mold won’t grow.  That process involves them removing baseboards and drilling into the wall to get to the insulation, and then industrial fans going for 3 days. Thank goodness John happened to go to the basement when he did, otherwise we sometimes go days without going down there so who knows how long we might have had water down there and not realized!

Sunday I had noticed a little leak in our kitchen faucet, so while the plumber was working on the sump pump I asked him if he could take a look at the faucet.  While inspecting it, he moved the faucet neck around a bit and he must have knocked something loose because what had been a little leak became a big spray anytime that faucet is used.  I had to go pick out a new faucet last night so he can come install it sometime today.

I’ve also had some non-water related non-typical things happen this week.  The team leader on my account at work is being rolled off, so that made for a bit of drama yesterday and is a fairly big change in my world.  I found that out and then about 2 hours later went to pick up Hayden where I found out 2 teachers there had been let go due to some “incident,” which I haven’t been able to find out what that was even though I’ve (subtly) asked three people.  They were both people I would never expect to be involved in something that would get them fired!  And then another big thing this week was Layla went to day care 2 days this week.  I typically keep her home with me while I work (she sleeps about 1/2 the time and when she’s awake I sit on the floor next to her with my laptop while she plays – she’s not crawling or walking yet so she doesn’t need to be chased!) but this week I had 2 days of client meetings and I thought it would be better if she wasn’t home for those.  I’ve missed her while she’s been gone.  She had a hard time Monday.  I knew she wouldn’t drink much because she has never taken a bottle well, and that held true.  She also didn’t sleep much; I guess she got about 30 – 40 minutes all day.  I feel like it took her until when she woke up this morning to really recover from the missed sleep – of course, just in time for her to go back in today and mess up her sleep again!  She’ll be back home with me again next week.  I know she’ll need to go to day care regularly at some point, but I’m glad I have a little more time left with her before then!

Three is Harder than Two December 6, 2010

Everyone knows the expression “Terrible Twos,” but I can’t figure out why there is not an expression about three year olds.  My friend Marianne would call her daughter a “threenager” when she was three, which is a great way to put it!  As so many people who had been there before us warned us: three is harder than two.

I had Hayden’s parent-teacher conference with his preschool teacher last week.  She was going on and on about how he is the best boy in her class, he is so sweet, quiet, and smart.  Her only complaint was that he was too quiet – she worried that he was not getting his fair share of attention or worse that he was setting himself up to be picked on when he’s in a bigger class because he is so gentle.  She asked me if he was like this at home.  I couldn’t think of enough different words for “No” to answer her question adequately.

Hayden has always been a sweet, gentle boy, but in this developmental cycle we call “being three years old” he is definitely exerting his independence, trying to see what he can get away with, finding things he can control, and figuring out how to deal with things that frustrate him they don’t go how he wants.  And the outlet to most of his frustration is me.  Daddy gets his fair share, too.  And, bless her, one of our dogs Lucy probably gets the brunt of it.  Lucy has been known to occasionally eat things she shouldn’t, from tissues to his toys, and lately he has it stuck in his mind that if she is around him she is going to do something bad, so he’s constantly trying to shove her out of the room he’s in, get her on the opposite side of a gate to him, get her outside, etc.  And if he can’t do that he’ll throw a fit.  Lucy has a lot of things coming to her, but these outbursts are usually unwarranted, so that is something we need to get through.

It’s not just Lucy who can get under his skin, though.  The list of what can upset him is quite lengthy.  Many times if I try to do something for him and Daddy is home then that will set him off because he doesn’t want me to do it, he wants Daddy to.  (Luckily when Daddy is not around we don’t have this trouble, otherwise we’d never get anywhere!)  “No not you do it, just Daddy do it.”  I do have to try not to laugh sometimes because it is SO “three,” but John and I both have had several talks with him about how that is not nice and that hurts Mommy’s feelings, but empathy seems to be a tall order at this age.

I could give examples until I’m blue in the… fingers… but the bottom line is the boy wants what he wants when he wants it – at home anyway.  You get him with someone who is not me, John, or Lucy and he is a little angel.  I guess that is the right way around – I don’t want him acting that way to other people, and I think it also just shows how comfortable he is with us that he can be that way around us when he is so reserved around others.  And he’s not testy all the time, just more than he used to be.   He still has moments in the day when he’ll smile at me, give me a hug, and say “Moooommmmmy” in his special way, or come up and give me a kiss out of the blue.  The key to managing his behavior seems to be to prepare him for what we are doing or what is expected of him; he behaves much better if he’s been told in advance that we won’t be doing X (say, going out to eat) unless he promises not to do Y (not get upset if some of his food falls on the floor) – this is usually very successful.  Of course, many things that come up are unexpected, such is life, and we all just do the best we can (including him)!

Daddy Picks Up Hayden! November 6, 2010

It’s pretty rare for me to pick up Hayden from daycare/pre-school. Kara tries to get him as early as possible and it’s nearly always before I’m home from work. This week I was able to finish up a little early from a conference and Kara was working that day so hadn’t collected him yet. So I got to get him and he had no idea I was coming.

I entered the room and couldn’t find him at first. All these kids sat around the table reading books and Hayden was on his own over by the toys! That isn’t a big surprise, Hayden likes to just play by himself and LOVES toys. At some point he heard my voice, slowly turned his head as he wasn’t expecting me and then jumped up and shouted daddy. He came running over to me and gave me a huge hug and then shouted to all the other kids “this is my daddy, this is my daddy!” I felt like he was really proud. It was a very cool moment.

It’s Not Day Care Day Yet May 4, 2010

Never need I worry about forgetting to take Hayden to day care, for it seems to often be at the forefront of his mind, and he seems to wear his mind on his sleeve.  One of the first things he usually says in the morning is, “It’s not day care day today.”  If it is a day care day I will correct him, and if it’s not I will tell him he’s right and he’s staying home with Mommy today.  When it is a day care day he usually has about 2 hours in the morning at home before I take him in, and he will say numerous times in those two hours, “It’s not day care day yet,” meaning it’s not time yet to go to day care.  As we get nearer time to go I will start to prepare him that we will be leaving for day care soon, and he will say that we are going to day care in “couple minutes.”  (In fact, day care or not when he is playing with his toys and you try to get him to do anything else, he will say “couple minutes,” “not yet,” “few minutes,” etc.)  Even when it’s not a day care day or he is already home from day care he will keep saying that it’s not a day care day.

We went through a few weeks where he was clearly not wanting to go to day care, which was pretty upsetting for me.  It’s hard enough taking him in when I know he’s enjoying it, but leaving him there when he clearly didn’t want to go was pretty heartbreaking.  When we were going through that and he was bringing up whether it was a day care day or not so frequently it made me worry that it was stressing him out and he couldn’t stop thinking about it.  Luckily that seems to have passed, and even though he still talks about whether it’s a day care day or not he is not so reluctant to go.  He has a friend there named Christian who he talks about a lot – they seem to be good buddies which has been confirmed by his teacher.  I wonder if having a friend like that has made the difference.  Today when it wasn’t yet time to go he asked me what his friends were doing at day care, which I took as a good sign (perhaps I’m optimistic).  Regardless, I have decided to let him have a summer break home with me and the baby with no day care.  The baby’s arrival is good timing since there should be neighborhood kids who could babysit him for a couple of hours during the day (since they will be out of school) if I need to get some rest from being up with the baby during the night.